baggage's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Vanity and good ol'fashioned luck I'm really glad I'm not single. I mean, I know it�s been a while since I was single. But I can still recall way back before Al Gore invented the internet (despite his fuzzy math skills and all) what it was like to meet a cute lady person and try to walk that thin-ass-line between finding out if she was available and being just plain snoopy. ME: "So, Hi. Uhh, I'm R. Are ya single?" HER: "Huh? You are one nosy dork ya know that?" ME: "Oh, sorry. So, I should have just spent the next four months dating you before I find out you have a very athletic boyfriend going to UCLA. Sorry. Here's my heart. Go ahead and start stomping on it." OK. Well that conversation didn't really happen. Although, I did experience a very similar situation (as you may have read in a previous entry I'm way too lazy to link to right now). I got my fresh shot of thankfulness for the current state of my lovelife in the midst of a root canal. (Yeah, yeah...seems that crowd surfing with my guitar strapped on not only screwed up my back and leg temporarily, but it also screwed up my molars. So, a few hours before my first visit to a chiropractor, I limped on over to my dentist. I was NOT in a good mood.) I'm vain to begin with. I wear contacts while I play because my insecure brain thinks that taking off my glasses instantly transforms me from El Dork to El Stud. I wear weird clothes while I play cuz I want desperately to be cool-at least for the short amount of time I'm on stage. This sad, sad case of vanity gets even more annoying when I'm in the same room as, hmmm....say, a way cute dental assistant. And believe you me�laying in that damn dentist chair drooling all over the place with my mouth stuck wide open AND looking up into a pair of beautiful green eyes is not, I repeat, not something I particularly enjoy. The experience reminded me of being flustered when I was near someone I was attracted to...wondering how the hell I could find out if she was interested and available while all the while trying to maintain that cool distance that could act as a cushion should the attraction be one-sided. Those same feelings haunted me as I sat there with my mouth wide open, the nearby Redheaded Goddess of All Dental Assistants sucking my mouth dry with that damn vacuum tube, and hearing my dentist say, "OK, there's some decay in there." Oh Jesus. The torture. I do not envy single folks. How do we do it? How do we weed through all the assholes out there to find that one perfect match? Doesn�t it seem grossly unfair and fucked to leave such an important part of our life to apparent sheer luck? I went home that night looking and feeling like pure shit. As I've written before, I'm not a good sick person. I'm barely a good healthy person for God's sake. But, my GF looked at me in my misery, laughed and said, "great to see ya babe. Guess this means I get to eat this chocolate cake all by myself..." Funny how she can always make me laugh regardless of my mood. Funny how, with her, I don�t worry about wearing contacts or cool clothes. Funny how her blue eyes can beat out a pair of green eyes any ol� day of the week. Funny how lucky I am to have found her. 22:01:01 - 2000-10-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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