baggage's Diaryland Diary

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A question of protocol

A question of protocol for anyone and no one in particular:
I talk to women all the time-I work with them, ride the train with them...etc. I prefer conversing with females. Ladies are just plain better company. Plus, you ladies often smell better. It's a fact. Male conversations tend to be displays of one-upmanship and comedy disguized as insults. It's all fun, but not very filling. Kinda like ABBA (hey-I love ABBA. But, they're lighter than fat-free milk).
So, anyways, dos preguntas:
When is it appropriate to bring up the girlfriend" And what do you say if asked out? "I'm sorry-but I have a girlfriend?" "Love to, but my girl-unit would kick my ass?"
Or maybe, I could mention the other half when replying to that inevitable question: "How was your weekend?"

"Oh you know, my weekend was so great because my GIRLFRIEND and I went hiking. It was so ROMANTIC being up in the mountains with my GIRLFRIEND that afterwards, my GIRLFRIEND and I went home and made passionate LOVE on the kitchen floor right next to the cat bowl!"

We've all known or overheard people like this. Those who display their attachment like a medal of honor:

"Oh my HUSBAND and I got a new dog this weekend. And it was so cute how my HUSBAND carried him to the car! And then, my HUSBAND took me out to dinner and he was so dashing and clever, this HUSBAND of mine, that we went home and made passionate LOVE on the kitchen floor right next to brand new dog bowl!"

Just yesterday, I actually heard someone doing this very thing. And she was talking loud too! To save my sanity, and to avoid throwing my powerbook at the insecure beoth, I moved seats on the train despite the fact that I was occupying primo train territory (as in a seat with table and plug for my powerbook).
This is not easy.
First I have to save my file, shut down whatever app I'm working in and then to put my mac to sleep. Then I have to pack the shit up and find another seat---one that probably won't have a plug because by then, all the spots with plugs are occupied by some showoff workaholic whose taking up the table with their entire fricking office. Have you seen these folks? Why not put up a picture of the family while you're at it, buddy?! There's a few free square inches on the table right here in front of me. Here, let me place your paperwork on my lap...."
Anyways, all this just to escape some beotch who bases her entire existence on her spouse. Did you have a personality before you were married? Did you have a life before someone came along and gave you theirs?
Whew. I'm not usually this cranky.
So, to be redundantly repetitive: when and how do you bring up the existence of your other half without sounding like a presumptious asshole? Where is the line that divides "friendly conversation" and "come hither?"
Enquiring minds need to know.

9:00 p.m. - 2005-05-16

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