baggage's Diaryland Diary

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Curiosity, Empathy and One Iguana Squinting At An Imagined Bridge

I ate lunch at Olvera Street today.

Two wonderful tacos, the sound of Flamenco guitars, and a postcard-perfect 78 degrees all came together to form a sweet oasis in an otherwise emotionally turbulent desert.

I have a feeling my life is going to change soon-and I wonder what I'll do when the time comes for certain choices to be made.

It's a bridge I couldn't, or wouldn't, cross years ago-and, to be honest, I never thought I'd ever get the opportunity to cross it again.

But, I think I see it in the distance.

Or maybe I'm imagining it.

Someone I know is jumping up and down and saying, *I see it! There it is! Can you believe it!* and all I can do is squint my jaded eyeballs and say, *Are you sure? Looks more like another pothole to me.*

I'm curious to see what I'll do this time around.

It's also curious the way I worry about some of the folks I read here in Diaryland. I worry about them as if they were my best friends or something-as if we're close enough for teary-eyed-post-midnight phone calls and reassuring hugs.

But, all I really have to base my worry on are their diaries-and, well, it seems a tad silly to feel so much empathy for someone that exists solely through my modem.

I envy those of you who have travelled across town or across cities or across states to meet fellow diarylanders in the flesh. I wish I could do that. But, alas, there's no chance. It's not as if I could get up one morning and say to Girl-Unit, *I'll be gone for a little while, babe-I'm gonna go meet Kuinileti.*

*Kui-who???,* she would ask.

*Oh,* I would say in return. *She's this great lady who wants to marry Eggplant Parmigiana. You should see her HTML. Boy oh boy...can that woman code.*

This sooooo wouldn't happen.

There are certain lines in my life that I can't ever cross.

Late night gigs?

No prob.

Green mohawk?

No prob.

$3,000 guitars?

No prob.

Meeting people I've met through an online diary?

No way.

So-to all of you Diarylanders that I worry about that I'd love to hand flowers of reassurance to: stop being so damn addicting. Write like shit or something. I don't care. Help me deal with this empathy.

Which brings up another thing. Why is it that I tend to prefer female-authored diaries? Most of my clinky-dinks are of the feminine persuasion I've noticed.

I mean-I love John Irving and John Updike...two men I assume since I've yet to meet a woman named John.

But here in Andrew's world-my tastes run a bit more feminine.

I'm not complaining by any means.

I just find this insight into my persona, like the bridge that I may be imagining it the distance, curious.

And we all know what curiosity did to the cat now don't we? It's a good thing I'm more of an Iguana: sun, loving, dry-skinned and (almost) hairless.

Curiosity can't do shit to an Iguana.

6:06 p.m. - 2001-05-16

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