baggage's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Still Angry After All These Years "There is nothing easy about forgiveness. It takes so much moral muscle. It takes tremendous courage, and yet this difficult path ultimately leads to life.'' -Assistant Professor of Psychology Charlotte VanOyen Witvliet Hope College-Holland, Mich. I failed miserably this weekend. I wanted to forgive, forget-live and let live. But, none of that happened. Let me try and explain. I saw three people this weekend; three people I considered brothers at one point in my life. But, shit happens-and at one point years ago I found myself hating these three. Going into the details of our fallout is not really neccesary. My own memory of whatever bridges I assumed were built between us has been tainted by time and situations have been blurred enough to make me doubt the accuracy of my own memory. But, the dissapointment is still there. I can't seem to let that go. It grows inside me like a cancer. And even this past weekend-despite a sincere effort on my part to finally exorcise this demon, I realized again just how far I have to go. Forgiveness isn't easy. It's easy to say I'm sorry. Or to laugh off a painful situation like a bad joke. But, sincerity must accompany forgiveness-and, in my case, those two words refuse to be in the same thought together. It's sad and pathetic. And I can't believe that after all this time, I still find myself so vulnerable to baggage from years past. 11:10 p.m. - 2001-05-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||