baggage's Diaryland Diary

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Guilt and Obligation

Today I witnessed a dizzying amount of beauty at the gas station. I caught myself staring at her as she slipped out of her car and my mind engaged in the most stereotypical of thoughts. I looked away before she noticed (I hope)-partly out of respect, but mostly out of guilt. If Girl-Unit would have been there, I wouldn't have indulged in the fantasy. But, she wasn't-and I did. Like that's an acceptable excuse.

Guilt drives us everywhere it seems. Guilt and obligation. Sometimes, I fantasize about living life free of these emotional leashes-but then I realize-I'd be the kind of guy I hate.

9:25 p.m. - 2001-04-17

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