baggage's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Importance of Being Indulgent Part Perpetual I fell asleep last night feeling the tinge of sickness. And, in tribute to the accuracy of my instincts, I'm currently coughing, sneezing and wheezing through the work day. I know just when it happened too (when I got bit by the sick bug I mean). I was trapped in a Coco's parking lot wearing clothes that, although appropriate for the earlier afternoon dose of sunny weather, were woefully inadequate for the evening chill. The other half of the conversation was my occasionally mentioned friend "J"-a person currently neck deep in a personal crisis that epitomizes what every woman in the world dislikes about their male counterparts. I hate to revisit this particular issue again and again, but J lights up parts of me that I'd rather keep in the dark. And, lately, our meetings dislocate my heart in a way that's hard to describe. I love this man. He is one of my closest friends. I admire his humor, his talent and his positivity. I look forward to his presence. But, lately his life has epitomized just about everything I try NOT to do. Are you a fan of Lucille Ball? Of I Love Lucy? Do you remember when Lucy finally got her writing published only to find out that her piece was used in a chapter titled How Not To Write? (This is how I remember it-my apologies to serious Lucy fans if I'm inaccurate). Well, J's actions would fit very well under the category of *How Not To Live.* And the sad thing is a part of me understands what he's going through-what he's feeling, what he's thinking. And as much as I disagree with his actions and justifications, there's a part of my head that nods in an almost invisible symbol of agreement. I find it hard to reconcile this empathy with my distaste of J's actions. I consider my friends, in all their coolness, as a reflection of myself. I mean-none of us trade secrets with people we dislike. None of us take people we consider to be assholes into our confidence. So, what do you do when someone you are close to, someone you love dearly, begins to do all the wrong things? And expects you to understand. And turns out that you do understand-kind of. I think downing a few Tylenols tonight will take care of the cough and the sneeze. Everything else is gonna take a remedy stronger than any pill can provide. 05:54 p.m. - Monday, March 19, 2001 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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